twentyfive Well, I was tagged on Facebook so, by the law of the internet, which cannot be rescinded, I am obliged to tell the world 25 random things about myself.

Though I will obey the law of obligation, I will not make other people partake in this spectacle, though feel free to pick it up yourself if you’re it suits your fancy.

1. I once wandered the streets of Hollywood for an entire night, having no money and no place to stay. The freaks do indeed come out at night.

2. I have terrible eyesight.

3. I know a guy who’s cousin used to date Mel Gibson.

4. I’m gonna steal one from my wife, I really don’t mind changing diapers all that much. I kinda fail to see what the big deal is.

5. I can play the bassoon. And not badly, either.

6. My patron saint is St. Bonafice, who is awesome cause he chopped down the tree holy to Thor in front of a bunch of crazy-eyed pagans.

7. I sing Blackbird by the Beatles to my oldest son every night before bed.

8. I was a huge prog-rock nerd in high school and college (and still am a little bit) And so is nearly every male protestant to Catholic convert I know.

9. I wouldn’t say it “spoke” to me, but an icon of Christ Pantocrater was an integral part of my conversion to Catholicism.

10. If I was an atheist, Christopher Hitchens would totally be my hero. As it is, he’s only kinda my hero.

11. I passed myself off as a serious reader of Tolkien without actually having read any of his books all the way through till I was about 20 years old.

12. I don’t really watch tv, but will watch whatever the hell is on for as long as time allows if I’m in a hotel room.

13. I always thought I would go into ministry.

14. I make the best guacamole I have ever tasted.

15. I don’t really listen to lyrics in music that much anymore. At least not till I’ve listened to a song a great number of times.

16. I’ve always wanted long hair, but just as my hair starts getting long, it starts to look absolutely horrible, so I’ve never gone though with it.

17. I have had more bad run-ins with law enforcement for things I didn’t actually do than just about anyone I know. I’ve also had ones for things I did do, but the number where I was totally innocent is just remarkably disproportionate.

18. I tried to write a novel last year. It didn’t go so well. But I might try again this year.

19. I am not at all sure what I think about evolution anymore.

20. I’ve only just started to grow out of the phase where I hold controversial opinions primarily purely for the sake of being a person who holds controversial opinions.

21. I have a very strong desire to see the Grand Canyon.

22. Also, in the mythical future where I have time and money to go on vacations, I’d like to tour the country visiting houses built by Frank Lloyd Wright.

23. I’ve had doubts about a lot of things regarding religion, but I’ve never ever doubted Jesus’ absolutely real corporeal presence in the Eucharist. Even when I didn’t believe in it, I desperately wanted to.

24. Apparently, if I was a girl, my name would have been Amy. I am very glad to have been a boy.

25. In 4th grade, I got a B- on a test. It was the worst grade I had ever gotten and I was devastated. I was absolutely certain my parents would be furious. I was crying as I walked to the car that day. My mom asked me why and I told her, with a heavy heart, about my abysmal grade. Much to my surprise, my mom didn’t really care. She just told me to do better next time. At that point, I realized I could do less than admirably in school and it wouldn’t really matter. I think this moment had a sizeable influence on the rest of my life, likely not for the better.