Well, I was tagged on Facebook so, by the law of the internet, which cannot be rescinded, I am obliged to tell the world 25 random things about myself.
Though I will obey the law of obligation, I will not make other people partake in this spectacle, though feel free to pick it up yourself if you’re it suits your fancy.
1. I once wandered the streets of Hollywood for an entire night, having no money and no place to stay. The freaks do indeed come out at night.
2. I have terrible eyesight.
3. I know a guy who’s cousin used to date Mel Gibson.
4. I’m gonna steal one from my wife, I really don’t mind changing diapers all that much. I kinda fail to see what the big deal is.
5. I can play the bassoon. And not badly, either.
6. My patron saint is St. Bonafice, who is awesome cause he chopped down the tree holy to Thor in front of a bunch of crazy-eyed pagans.
7. I sing Blackbird by the Beatles to my oldest son every night before bed.
8. I was a huge prog-rock nerd in high school and college (and still am a little bit) And so is nearly every male protestant to Catholic convert I know.
9. I wouldn’t say it “spoke” to me, but an icon of Christ Pantocrater was an integral part of my conversion to Catholicism.
10. If I was an atheist, Christopher Hitchens would totally be my hero. As it is, he’s only kinda my hero.
11. I passed myself off as a serious reader of Tolkien without actually having read any of his books all the way through till I was about 20 years old.
12. I don’t really watch tv, but will watch whatever the hell is on for as long as time allows if I’m in a hotel room.
13. I always thought I would go into ministry.
14. I make the best guacamole I have ever tasted.
15. I don’t really listen to lyrics in music that much anymore. At least not till I’ve listened to a song a great number of times.
16. I’ve always wanted long hair, but just as my hair starts getting long, it starts to look absolutely horrible, so I’ve never gone though with it.
17. I have had more bad run-ins with law enforcement for things I didn’t actually do than just about anyone I know. I’ve also had ones for things I did do, but the number where I was totally innocent is just remarkably disproportionate.
18. I tried to write a novel last year. It didn’t go so well. But I might try again this year.
19. I am not at all sure what I think about evolution anymore.
20. I’ve only just started to grow out of the phase where I hold controversial opinions primarily purely for the sake of being a person who holds controversial opinions.
21. I have a very strong desire to see the Grand Canyon.
22. Also, in the mythical future where I have time and money to go on vacations, I’d like to tour the country visiting houses built by Frank Lloyd Wright.
23. I’ve had doubts about a lot of things regarding religion, but I’ve never ever doubted Jesus’ absolutely real corporeal presence in the Eucharist. Even when I didn’t believe in it, I desperately wanted to.
24. Apparently, if I was a girl, my name would have been Amy. I am very glad to have been a boy.
25. In 4th grade, I got a B- on a test. It was the worst grade I had ever gotten and I was devastated. I was absolutely certain my parents would be furious. I was crying as I walked to the car that day. My mom asked me why and I told her, with a heavy heart, about my abysmal grade. Much to my surprise, my mom didn’t really care. She just told me to do better next time. At that point, I realized I could do less than admirably in school and it wouldn’t really matter. I think this moment had a sizeable influence on the rest of my life, likely not for the better.
Homesick No More 
18 comments
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January 28, 2009 at 8:52 pm
Remy
[8.] Prog-rock = road to Rome, got it.
[10.] Don’t get it. Guy’s such a mook.
[17.] Be honest, you look mighty suspicious.
[21.] ibid
[24.] Mine, quinkydinkily, would’ve been Bethany.
January 28, 2009 at 9:17 pm
Ash
Dude, what do you mean you don’t know what to think of evolution? 😯 LOL
Oh and yeah, what is the deal with people and diapers?? Don’t they wipe their own butts enough to not care about poop anymore for crying out loud!! :-p
And interestingly, my name would have been Matthew if I had been a boy.. I really like the name but I’m still pretty glad that I’m a girl 🙂
Toodles!
January 29, 2009 at 9:16 am
Chad Toney
At least for our generation, Catholicism is the best religion for geeks. It bears the most resemblance to Prog Rock, Tolkien, and RPG’s.
Anglicans and Calvinists might listen to Dream Theater at a friends house. They read Narnia and maybe play Risk a couple times a year. But they haven’t gone all the way.
January 29, 2009 at 9:17 am
Chad Toney
21. I need to go too. Road trip?
February 2, 2009 at 1:29 pm
John Jansen
I need a clarification on 21: is your desire merely to see the Grand Canyon, or do is it to hike all the way down to the bottom and back up in one day (and subsequently collapse from exhaustion)?
February 2, 2009 at 3:43 pm
mattyonke
Just going would be fine. Though I would really like to visit the Grand Canyon Skywalk, which is probably one of the coolest things science has ever given us.
February 3, 2009 at 11:54 am
ELRJ
4. interesting!
14. share recipe please?
18. Have you heard of NANOWRIMO? (national novel writing month)
February 3, 2009 at 2:15 pm
mattyonke
The trick with guacamole is just to not screw it up. Really a lot of it is by feel, but I’ll try to recapitulate the recipe as best I can:
4 medium sized avocados
1/2 large red onion (red is essential here), finely diced
1 large jalapeno pepper, chopped (leave the seeds and insides in, don’t be a wuss)
1 big handful of cilantro, chopped
1 small tomato, diced
Coarse sea salt or kosher salt
2 limes
1. Scoop the insides out of the avocados, reserve one or two pits.
2. Squeeze the juice of 1 lime over avocados, incorporating this early will help keep the guac fresher longer.
3. Mash avocados with a potato ricer or fork.
4. Add onion, cilantro, tomato and salt to taste and the juice of 1/2 or all of the remaining lime, depending on taste.
After that, it’s all about taste. Might have to add a little more onion, might have to add a little more jalapeno, etc. That can vary greatly depending on the flavor of the individual onion, jalapeno, etc. you’re using.
I just whipped up a double batch for a Super Bowl party and it was inhaled in under a half hour.
As for NNOWRIMO, that was the program in which I failed to write a novel.
February 3, 2009 at 4:18 pm
mattyonke
Oh, I forgot to add that you put the reserved avocado pits back in after the guac is complete to keep it fresher longer.
Also I don’t recommend making guac too far before you’re going to use it because it does have such a short shelf-life, but if you have to make it early, put plastic wrap over it and actually press the plastic down so it’s touching the guac, sealing it completely off from any air, then refrigerate.
One more thing, that’s the version I make for other people, if it’s just me and Erin, I’ll use 1 1/2 or 2 jalapenos.
February 4, 2009 at 12:17 pm
colinclout12
I don’t think I’ve ever listened to prog rock. I couldn’t even tell you what it means.
Maybe I should be rethinking things?
February 4, 2009 at 3:07 pm
mattyonke
Prog-rock is a movement that began in the late 60’s in which rock musicians made music with more complex song structures, longer songs, odd time signatures, incorporated influences from classical and jazz.
Other characteristics, as Chad mentioned above include science-fiction/fantasy influenced lyrics, male lead singers with high vocal ranges, really fast guitar playing, and long instrumental passages.
In short, it’s a form of music intolerable to all but a select group of nerdy white guys who think themselves the smartest people in the world for listening to it.
February 4, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Chad Toney
CC12,
February 4, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Chad Toney
Matt, have you spent time with The Flower King’s *Unfold the Future* double-disc yet? It’s been years and I keep coming back to that album. What do you think?
February 4, 2009 at 4:50 pm
mattyonke
Still have not gotten to that yet. I’ve been slacking on working out, so there goes the music listening time.
February 4, 2009 at 9:09 pm
colinclout12
Matt, I suppose my comment was unclear. “Maybe I should be rethinking things?” Was a reference to “And so is nearly every male protestant to Catholic convert I know.” Where does that leave me?
February 5, 2009 at 10:14 am
mattyonke
Oh, no, I got your meaning Matt. I just thought it such a tragedy that you shouldn’t know what prog rock is I thought I’d give a brief definition.
Btw, I watched that documentary chad recommended last night and it was great.
February 12, 2009 at 12:36 pm
colinclout12
Maybe this is more psychedelic than prog, but is this the sort of thing you like now then?
September 30, 2011 at 7:25 pm
Jay
#6 – Read that story nearly 40 years ago as a kid, and loved it. Have never again found the book, though I’ve searched my dad’s extensive library several times.
#8 – noted. I will make sure I stay away from that brand of music.